"Haruhi-kun, what are you thinking about?" asked Akiko (or was it Aiko?), leaning forward to refill Haruhi's cup.

Haruhi blushed and looked down. "I was just thinking about how the pattern on this cup resembled my late mother's favorite dress."

"Oh!" cried Haruhi's clients, their eyes uniformly brimming over with tears. Haruhi sighed heavily and took a long drink from her cup.

"Such a natural," Hikaru announced to Kaoru.

"Innate talent," agreed his brother.

Honey tugged on the hems of the twins' jackets. "Haru-chan looks sad! You shouldn't make fun! Right, Takashi?"

"Mmm."

"A moneymaker," murmured Kyoya, which shut everyone up.

Nobody noticed that Tamaki hadn't said a word, or even looked in their direction.

Hikaru sighed and propped his chin up on his hand, tracing the surface of one the host club's tables with his index finger. His brother gave an answering sigh. They looked at each other.

"Bored."

"We need some amusement, Kaoru."

"You're absolutely right, Hikaru." Kaoru looked around. "Where's our toy?"

"Late!" Hikaru gasped, clutching his hand to his chest in mock horror. "Unacceptable. Add an extra thousand to her debt, Kyoya-senpai."

Kyoya looked up from his laptop, and his glasses caught the glare from his monitor. "No."

"Right, right," Hikaru said hastily. "My lord!"

Tamaki spun around from his place near the windows, throwing one arm out to lean attractively against the wall. "Do you need your king's assistance?"

"Yeah," Kaoru said. "Where's Haruhi? Shouldn't she be here now...er, basking in your glory?"

Roses bloomed all around and a gust of wind blew in, tousling Tamaki's hair artfully. The president opened his mouth, then shut it as his face turned bright red. The roses wilted and the window slammed shut. "It's none of my business where Haruhi is."

"My lord?" asked the twins.

"Her time is her own. I'm not her keeper," Tamaki said, but he sounded like he was choking on the words. Before the twins could torture him a bit more, the president spun on his heel and stomped out of the music room.

"Our lord is weird," Hikaru said, circling his index finger around his ear.

"Weirder than usual," Kaoru agreed. "I wonder why."

Hikaru rubbed his chin, thinking. "Doesn't he have Haruhi's schedule memorized, down to the minute?"

"The second," said Kaoru. "He accused me of spending twenty-three extra seconds with her last week."

"Soooo," Hikaru said slowly, "he suddenly...

"...doesn't care what Haruhi does?" finished Kaoru.

"Oh," they said in unison, then grinned. "This might be fun."

"I wonder where our lord is," Kaoru said, dropping onto the couch next to Haruhi. He slung an arm over her shoulders. Hikaru settled on Haruhi's other side and did the same.

"Yeah, it's not like him to be late."

"Why should I care where Tamaki-senpai is?" Haruhi said, reaching back to pull off Hikaru's arm, then Kaoru's. "I'm not his keeper."

Kaoru laughed. "That's funny! He said the same thing about you yesterday, didn't he, Hikaru?"

"He definitely did."

"Didn't seem to care about you at all."

"Not a bit."

Haruhi snorted. "So? Good."

"Yes, it's definitely good," Kaoru agreed. "I mean, if he doesn't care about you, it's better if it's mutual, isn't it? It's not like the two of you need keepers."

Hikaru knelt on the couch leaning over Haruhi. "But I'm your keeper, aren't I, Kaoru?"

Kaoru climbed to his knees, closing his eyes as he clasped his brother's hands, uniting them above Haruhi's head. "I'd never let anyone else do it," he sighed.

A group of clients walked in and, when they saw the Hitaiichins, either fainted or screamed with glee. Haruhi made a disgusted noise and got up to sit with Mori and Honey.

Haruhi was frustrated, though obviously trying not to show it. "Kyoya-senpai, I just don't understand why I have to pose for an official photo book. That wasn't part of the original agreement!"

"I'll knock 1000 from your debt," Kyoya said, not looking up from the papers he was shuffling.

Haruhi sighed. "Fine, I'll do it, but I still don't understand the point of this club sometimes."

Tamaki spun around, plucking a yellow rose from the air. "The host club is designed to provide companionship to those who--"

"Have the money and time to kill at a rich kid school," Haruhi interrupted, crossing her arms. "I've heard it all before. But it's a stupid idea and I don't even get why a club like this would need a president, especially not one as ineffective as you."

The club members all froze and stared at Tamaki and Haruhi, expecting Tamaki to scream and cry and maybe even brood stonily for a few hours.

But Tamaki only took a deep breath and visibly relaxed. "Perhaps you're right, Haruhi," he said, "but I'm very proud of this host club and don't plan on giving it up." Then he walked away to sweet-talk some new clients.

"That was the first time Tamaki-senpai talked to Haruhi in a long time, wasn't it, Kaoru?" asked Hikaru, loudly enough for the whole room to hear.

"Oh, that didn't count," Kaoru scoffed. "That was just business."

Kaoru yawned and passed the paper football back to Hikaru. "I think our lord is in love."

"Tamaki-senpai?" asked Haruhi, a little too quickly.

Hikaru flicked the football into Kaoru's hand-goal and turned sleepy eyes toward Haruhi. "Yeah, that lord. He's been acting so oddly lately and spending less time than usual with the rest of us. Doesn't he seem subdued, Kaoru?"

"Definitely."

"Definitely in love," Hikaru concluded. "I wonder who she is. Do you think she's tall?"

"I bet. Rich?"

"Richer than him, even. Pretty?"

"Gorgeous. And super-feminine, too, probably."

"Definitely in love," Kaoru said, echoing his brother.

"Tama-chan's in love!" Honey said, overhearing, his mouth filled with teacakes. There was icing smeared across his face. "Did you hear that, Takashi? Isn't that exciting?"

"Hmm," said Mori.

"I wonder if she brings him cake every day! Or cookies. I'd like it if someone brought me cookies every day. Maybe Tama-chan brings her cake, too!"

"Oh, I'd think so," Hikaru said. "They probably share sweets all the time."

"Yeah, mouth-to-mouth," Kaoru muttered, only loud enough for Haruhi to hear.

Haruhi didn't say anything, but her jaw seemed a little tighter than usual.

"Hey, Kaoru, do you hear teeth grinding?"

"AND FURTHERMORE," Haruhi was shouting, her small hands clenched into tight fists, her whole face glowing crimson, "I THINK A MAN SHOULD ACT MODESTLY IF HE WANTS A PERSON'S ATTENTION." Everyone in the room was staring at her, including a gaping Tamaki. "TAMAKI-SENPAI SHOULDN'T ENCOURAGE THOSE THAT HAVE NO CHANCE WITH HIM."

She ran out of the room. Tamaki was hot on her heels, beaming and announcing, "But I am modest, Haruhi! The most modest man in the entire universe!" Flowers, sunshine, and a flock of bluebirds followed his wonderfulness into the hall. The clients immediately began chattering with excitement, gossiping about the elicit homosexual affair between the host club's king and his protégé.

Kyoya scribbled furiously in his ledger. "Impressive," he told the twins.

"Thank you, senpai," they chorused.

"You know," Kyoya said, shutting the book with a soft whump, "I once read something that said that playing hard to get was a foolproof way of garnering someone's attention."

"Really, Kyoya-senpai?" said Hikaru.

"How interesting," said Kaoru.

Kyoya smiled at them. "Yes. Psychology is so fascinating. And when I was finished, I thought Tamaki might enjoy it, too."

The twins grinned back. "You're such a good friend, Kyoya-senpai."

END.